I Don’t Live There Anymore

I used to feel like tragedies were like some sort of highly contagious disease I’d contract if I were near them. The death of someone near me, cancer, or passing a memorial cross on the highway were some of the things that would scare me internally in a very unexplainable way. Everywhere I turned in some respects, I’d live in absolute fear that I or someone I loved would be tragedy or sickness’ next victim.What a debilitating way to live, I know…

Being a minister’s wife for the past eleven years has pushed me to learn how to enter hard situations again. I’ve learned to love those in the midst of life’s trials and not run the other way. Sure, it’s still hard sometimes to feel the pain that comes along with being there for people in need. But, compassion comes from personal experience and Christ-like love.

I’ve allowed my own anxiety and traumatic experiences to carry me away in the past. Thinking crazy thoughts that could only be spoken by the mouth of hell. Fearful thoughts of things unthinkable, paralyzing me mentally and causing me to just shut down. That is what anxiety does. It sucks out every single ounce of strength you have left until you have no more fight within.

This is exactly what the enemy wants.

In my own personal experience, I came to a point where I couldn’t even bear the thought of singing, praying, or even listening to music. These are all these things that I love and it didn’t make any sense. All I knew is I didn’t have the strength or motive to do any of it. Paralyzed in fear, motionless in anxiety, almost trapped inside my own body by this thing called anxiety.

I realize now that was the enemy trying to silence me. “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10 KJV

You have to recognize that if satan can silence you, hes won half the battle. If you don’t speak about Jesus, if you don’t proclaim His word, or sing His praises you cannot and will not come to victory over your situation! God gave you your mouth to use for His glory alone. Our world is full of such filth because people knowingly or unknowingly allow satan to use them as mouthpieces.

Anxiety and fear causes you to construct mental walls and block out everything that could cause potential upset. You cannot see the light of Jesus when you are living in this self-made house. The walls of this house are thick and there are no windows or doors. Its a one person dwelling meant to trap and imprison you.  You can’t let anyone in or out. The only way out is by the saving grace of Jesus Christ who can drop in, pick you up and pull you out.

Jesus pulled me out when I found my voice again. I proclaimed the words “I don’t live here anymore!”, and by His saving power I made my out of that pit of destruction and hell.

You don’t have to live in the house of anxiety or fear. Your realization of truth is the key to your escape. Don’t be en-captured by those walls, but be set free in knowing who Jesus made you to be. You don’t live there anymore! You are made to be free and victorious. You are made to share this love Jesus shared with you. Don’t give into fear, lies, or the powers of darkness that are determined to put you in a mental prison. You are called to be a child of God. You are called to walk in victory, joy, and love. Claim that and walk away from everything else that doesn’t line up with the Bible.



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